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 Debbie
Mata, a first generation Mexican-American standing almost six feet
tall and sporting fashionably short hair dyed red, lives in Chicago’s
Pilsen neighborhood. She’s twenty, the second youngest in a family
of seven children, and was named after Blondie’s Debbie Harry. Having
graduated from high school in 1997, Debbie is currently continuing
her education at Harold Washington College while holding down a
full time job in retail as well. She loves to read hispanic poetry
(translated into English) and spend time with her family and friends.
Debbie had been a regular blood donor for several years running
until last year, when, after making a donation, she was called back
in and informed her blood had revealed antibodies to HIV. At the
age of nineteen she had tested positive for the virus that causes
AIDS.
“I
have only slept with one person. What are the chances? Ya know,
first time, first everything. He was older than I was, he was seven
years older than me, so he lived his life, ya know, he’s done whatever,
he’s slept with a lot of women, he’s done drugs, but no needles
that I know of... When I told him he was completely calm, not in
shock, nothing. He was like, ‘Well, maybe you got it from a place
where you go donate blood... or what if you got it from when they
were drawing blood when you were hospitalized?’ He kept on saying
what if, what if. And him being much older than I am, he was trying
to put things in my head, but I knew it was from him, there’s no
other possibility.
“The
first thing that went through my mind, well, I got rid of my toothbrush,
I got rid of my razor that I left in the shower, I got rid of everything.
And I bought new stuff and put them away so my little sister or
mother wouldn’t have contact... I didn’t tell my mother, four, five
months later I still couldn’t. But then, my family took it pretty
well. At first they were still in shock. They still are in shock
somewhat. I have four older brothers and one older sister, three
of my brothers are police officers, the other works at a cafe, and
I have a little sister. They all look out for me and they don’t
judge me. My mom has been supportive. She went to go get an HIV
test, because she didn’t know. I took her and she came out negative.
We are real cautious about stuff, like the menstrual cycle and everything
else. My friends know and they’re supportive of me, they’re still
my friends.
“After
I found out, three months later I ran into a family relative of
my ex-boyfriend slash fiancé, whatever, and he told me, ‘Yeah, didn’t
you know, he’s in Mexico.’ I was like, excuse me? ‘Yeah, he’s in
Mexico, he left, back with his family in Mexico’... and I was thinking,
he could have at least said goodbye or I’m sorry. Not just leave
the country. Five months or so later I got a phone call from him.
I called him back, and he had the audacity to start yelling at me
about why didn’t I go visit him when he was in the hospital, why
I didn’t call him? I was speechless, I couldn’t say anything. He
was like, ‘Yeah, well I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me, the
doctors made a mistake, I just had pneumonia and that was it.’ I
just hung up on him...
“I
still go out, I meet people. I talk, and whatever, and if something
happens... well nothing has happened sexually yet. Just to think
about what he did to me, for me to do to somebody else, I mean,
no. Of course if anything were to happen it has to be with a condom,
and he can’t go down on me while, whatever, and kissing is fine
as long as I don’t have a little cut or anything in my mouth. I
would tell him. I would... I tell my girlfriends and my guy friends
to go get tested, ya never know. I educate them, tell them to be
careful out there...
“I’m
not going to let the virus take over my life. I always tell myself
that I’m not gonna let this get to me, why should I? I’m only twenty,
why should I let the virus bring me down? I keep going, I keep doing
everything ya know. I want to be a psychiatrist. I want to go to
high schools and tell people what’s out there and what could happen,
what they could get, anything, not just HIV.
“My
family, we do not really say I love you. But when they found out
I was HIV positive, they kept telling me ‘I love you’. Everyone
kept saying it, ‘I love you, no matter what happens.’ I was like,
okay, stop it already, you’re driving me crazy. It’s a good thing,
but it’s also a bad thing because, why does something bad have to
happen for people to be nice?”
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